Coming to the unwelcome realization that you are trapped in a Lovecraftian friendship like “You’re my best friend and I think you’re amazing but I’m pretty sure that if you started resurrecting corpses I would just shrug and help out”

If you’re one…

It would never occur to me, if a friend were practicing necromancy, that I WOULDN’T help out. I mean, jeez, why do we even HAVE friends?

Spare parts.

Today I stuffed a balloon down my boyfriend’s pants and he paraded around, showing the cats his new balloon boner. 

I swear. He puts up with so much shit from me.