Huh. Well, good news/bad news:

1. The shoulder seems to be okay. After a long, hot bath and ice, my suspicion is carrying my 30+ lb bag after the gym was probably just aggravating it to the point it had me concerned. Shoulder is fine.

2. Elbow is not fine. Seems like when I fell, poor thing took the brunt of the force. At best, I’ve bruised the bones of the olecranon process or simply the olecranon itself (fun fact: the super, technical name for your “funny bone” is the olecranon which is the upper curvature of the ulna). At worst, I’ve got an elbow impingement (at least I hope that’s the worst). 

So, my hope is if I RICE it up tonight and tomorrow, I can avoid a trip to the doctor. 

LATERS BABY

Like… okay, yesterday, I swear that there was some sort of of mating display happening because I found myself staring at the backside of this glorious man… dem thighs though. Sweet LORD. I had to take my glasses off so I couldn’t see him.

SEE? This shit right here. 

No wonder people avoid the gym; it’s like a scripted porn orgy waiting to happen. 

I think.

Right? 

No? 

Well, it sounds like it. 

kimmons asked:

On top of hurting myself at the gym, one of the resident "hot guys" now calls me "Masochistic White Girl" because of a stupid joke I was trying to make gone horribly wrong. So now this chiseled 6'5" god who should be carved in onyx and replacing David as fine art thinks I'm this gigantic dork and I will never be able to show up to the gym after six pm any given day of the week. Fan-fucking-tastic.

apromptripost:

kimmons:

apromptripost:

kimmons:

apromptripost:

kimmons:

apromptripost:

Oh, no, no, no. You see, when life gets awkward, you double down on dork. For one? You’re working on you, which is always commendable. Get cut, to the point which you could sculpt onyx with the palms on your mighty hands. And if this little god is not both awed and terrified? His fatal error.

Usually, double-downing on dork is my go-to coping mechanism (I’ve got enough dork in me to dork on for the next one thousand years, full throttle). The problem is EVERYONE at the gym is hot.

Even if Onyx God begins to fear me (oh, dear heavens, that would be the day), some hot lady would come along and I’d want to worship her as the next Aphrodite. The gym is nothing but a pantheon of mortal gods ready for me to drop to my knees and weep at their beauty.

I’m just not one of them. Sometimes, the unworthy find themselves lost and end up in the face of very, very, VERY hot people with muscles and tattoos and unable to control their stupid tongues so stupid jokes happen.

Then you’re a scarce resource - adorkability! Work your game, Kims! If looming does not satisfy, then kneel. If kneeling doesn’t please? Then climb onto the shoulders of one of them. This is…getting less and less metaphorical. Um. 

Ahem.

Just be yourself. And don’t skip out on squats. 

I’M PRETTY SURE SQUATS DO NOT HELP THE SITUATION. 

HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE HOT ASSES AT THE GYM DOING SQUATS?

HAVE YOU?

THE ASSES OF GODS DO NOT QUIT. 

But even GODLY ASSES bend to the rigorous application of technique.

Do some science on dat ass.

WELL IF THERE’S ONE THING I’M DAMN GOOD AT, IT’S EMPIRICAL OBSERVATION OF THE WORLD AROUND ME. 

I AM THE GENDO IKARI OF COLLECTING ASS DATA AT THE GYM; I HAVE NO MORALS AND NO SCRUPLES ABOUT THE RIGOROUS COLLECTION OF MY DATA.

*sobs quietly*

Everyone, just please stop being so hot at the gym.

Now that I think about it, Gendo has a permanent “front row strip club” slouch.

You know why I sent for you.”

That “I’m asexual, not blind” comic hits me in the fucking face every time I’m at the gym. 

I swear, I don’t know how non-asexual people even function at the gym if I’Mover-whelmed by the beauty of all those bodies. 

kimmons asked:

On top of hurting myself at the gym, one of the resident "hot guys" now calls me "Masochistic White Girl" because of a stupid joke I was trying to make gone horribly wrong. So now this chiseled 6'5" god who should be carved in onyx and replacing David as fine art thinks I'm this gigantic dork and I will never be able to show up to the gym after six pm any given day of the week. Fan-fucking-tastic.

apromptripost:

kimmons:

apromptripost:

kimmons:

apromptripost:

Oh, no, no, no. You see, when life gets awkward, you double down on dork. For one? You’re working on you, which is always commendable. Get cut, to the point which you could sculpt onyx with the palms on your mighty hands. And if this little god is not both awed and terrified? His fatal error.

Usually, double-downing on dork is my go-to coping mechanism (I’ve got enough dork in me to dork on for the next one thousand years, full throttle). The problem is EVERYONE at the gym is hot.

Even if Onyx God begins to fear me (oh, dear heavens, that would be the day), some hot lady would come along and I’d want to worship her as the next Aphrodite. The gym is nothing but a pantheon of mortal gods ready for me to drop to my knees and weep at their beauty.

I’m just not one of them. Sometimes, the unworthy find themselves lost and end up in the face of very, very, VERY hot people with muscles and tattoos and unable to control their stupid tongues so stupid jokes happen.

Then you’re a scarce resource - adorkability! Work your game, Kims! If looming does not satisfy, then kneel. If kneeling doesn’t please? Then climb onto the shoulders of one of them. This is…getting less and less metaphorical. Um. 

Ahem.

Just be yourself. And don’t skip out on squats. 

I’M PRETTY SURE SQUATS DO NOT HELP THE SITUATION. 

HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE HOT ASSES AT THE GYM DOING SQUATS?

HAVE YOU?

THE ASSES OF GODS DO NOT QUIT. 

But even GODLY ASSES bend to the rigorous application of technique.

Do some science on dat ass.

WELL IF THERE’S ONE THING I’M DAMN GOOD AT, IT’S EMPIRICAL OBSERVATION OF THE WORLD AROUND ME. 

I AM THE GENDO IKARI OF COLLECTING ASS DATA AT THE GYM; I HAVE NO MORALS AND NO SCRUPLES ABOUT THE RIGOROUS COLLECTION OF MY DATA.

*sobs quietly*

Everyone, just please stop being so hot at the gym.